Its been a while since last I blogged, however, there has been so much going on in my life, I just can’t find the time! One of the most exciting events occurred a month or so ago. Dad and I were home alone, yeah yeah, the menace and the Furball were home, but they really don’t count. So dad is upstairs and I was stuck downstairs with the two creatures who are the bane of my existence! Anyway, I digress, dad’s upstairs asleep, when all of a sudden, there was a noise in the garage! Mom and the little hippie freak weren’t due home for at least another hour. The boy they call Wyatt, was hanging out with some people, who, recently had raised some red flags! A little thing, like having lived a communist country. However, there’s more, these people don’t have cable or satellite TV! Now here’s the kicker, before meeting this family, their entire house was destroyed by a (big paw air quotes) “tornado!” Out of the entire community, their home was the only one destroyed by a “tornado?”
So, back to the garage! There we were, all asleep, when the suspicious noise emitted from the garage. The next thing I knew, here came dad, running down the stairs, wearing nothing but his tighty whities! Great, I thought, here we are being burglarized, and dad’s ready to star in a Fruit of the Loom commercial! So dad gets to the garage door, opens it slightly and yells out “who’s there!” I was half expecting to here Bad Grams respond “it’s me, I came back to my Meth Lab to get a fix!” But no, I heard a response which sent chills up and down my spine, “we have your son!” I recognized the voice as being one of the members of the family who had Wyatt, my suspicions were proved to be correct! No satellite or Cable, can only mean one thing, TERRORISTS! Tornado my tail! More like an accident at the old bomb making factory! What should we do? They have the boy! I’ve watched enough Fox News to know what’s coming next, a ransom request! I also know dad has enough weaponry to blow the terrorists back to their non TV watching bomb factory, poor old Wyatt, oh well collateral damage is the price for freedom! I’m really not sure what happened next, but the boy walked through the door, without a shot being fired! I used to think dad was kind of a pushover, with letting Bad Grams run her criminal enterprise from the garage and all. But after watching him defeat the terrorists, wearing nothing but his skivvies, I have to admit, I’m seeing him in a all new light! USA! USA! USA!