It’s been so long since I last blogged, I really don’t know where to start! Let me see, how about I pick up where I thought Crunchface was shrunk by a process called Mimseigh. Turns out, Crunchface wasn’t shrunk at all, she was just sent back from whence she came, Mimseigh is her replacement’s name! Silly me, I do get confused from time to time. I guess Crunchface broke the golden rule, don’t turn dad’s lap golden, if you know what I mean! Mimseigh’s not too bad, in fact, I get these strange feelings deep inside me once in a while, almost like I should take care of the little four legged bag of wrinkles! I must learn to suppress these feelings deep down inside. You know the kind of suppression ladies, like a first date after your new man sprung for Mexican cuisine, kind of like that! Another thing which really puzzles me, is this; Mimseigh gets to pee and poop inside the house, on something called a “puppy pad”! After a successful movement on the pad, mom and dad jump and down and praise Mimseigh like she just solved world hunger! Me? I poop or pee on the floor, I’m public enemy number one! Mimseigh’s treated like royalty, I’m treated like Bernie Madoff after an audit! A couple of days ago, mom took me to get my hair done. While we were there, my beautician talked mom into getting me the “spa package.” Part of the package included a blueberry facial! Normally, I’m all about being treated to a nice soothing spa treatment. However, the “blueberry facial” was nothing more than making me wolf down a blueberry Hostess pie! Another part of the package was a teeth brushing, which consisted of shoving a plastic brush covered in meat flavored soap down my throat! No wonder they can never get the boy they call Wyatt to brush his teeth, there’s no way I’d do that to myself either! Afterward, mom picked me up at the beauty shop, she was so happy! I guess having my breath smell like blueberries does beat out turd breath! The little hippie girl they call Summer, has switched boyfriends since last I wrote. The last one was a little too snuggly for my taste anyway. The hippie said she ditched him due to his smoking pot. This really ticked dad off, I don’t blame him, as much as he loves sitting on the pot, and some punk kid comes along and smokes it? What’s wrong with these kids anyhow? Why don’t they just stick to smoking weed?