Those little lap dancers were prancing by my yard again today. You would think they were a pure breed, such as myself, the way they strut past here! Oh sure, the furball gets all goo goo eyed when they walk by, but hey, his family tree hasn’t forked in years! Just the thought of him reproducing gives me the shivers! I’m starting to give up hope on the pit bull ever coming over here and defending my honor by stomping the furball back to the stone age! Mom’s freaking out about my hair do. She had the boy they call Wyatt bring her a pair of scissors to cut the mats out of my ears. Hello, hey mom, if you would have brought me some Mickey ears, I could have ditched these stinky matted ears for some new ones! On the bright side, dad did offer to get me something to eat earlier! He said he was going to give me a chop! Of course, he said this once before, and nothing! Although, this time he said to mom; “come on baby, just let me give her a quick chop, it’ll stop her itching!” An analgesic pork chop? Doesn’t sound very tasty, but hey, if it’s going to stop this itching, I say chop away dad, chop away!