What a week, it all started after I went to the vet. Apparently, one of the shots I received was something called steroids. I’m not actually sure what steroids are used for, but I’ve been having the urge to slap the Furball from here to next week! I know, I usually feel like giving him a good thrashing, but now, I feel as if I could just pick him up and throw him through a wall! Also, my appetite is insatiable! Not only am I wolfing down my food, I’m going after Furball’s as well. After both of our food is gone, I go outside and eat poop! I’m so ashamed! I now know what Barbara Walters must feel like after one of her shows! The Furball informed me the steroids also ruined any chance I ever had at winning the Westminster! I can’t believe mom and dad would allow such a thing to happen to me without even consulting me! It wasn’t like I was out with the little hippie girl and got some second hand smoke! I mean you have to have a certain level of trust amongst family! You’re not going to believe what happened in the middle of the week! Bad grams fell and broke her hip! This happened to a friend of mine before I was “rescued” by mom the rescuer! The cure was a one way trip to Doggone City! When I first heard about Grams, I was kind of sad, but, you break a hip and as dad likes to say, you’re totaled! Poor ole Grams, I hardly got to know you, oh well, life’s not always fair! Speaking of not fair, Grams wasn’t totaled at all! In fact, she received a brand new hip! A new hip? Who knew there was such a thing! I guess that’s fair, my friend breaks her hip and takes a dirt nap, Grammy breaks hers and gets a new one! To make matter worse, mom took me to the beauty parlor this week! When I got to the beauty shop, there was this other dog walking around with a pumpkin drawn on one side and a smiley face on the other! I was thinking, are we at the beauty shop, or, the head shop? Hey mom, you’ve got your little Princess, not your hippie girl! After the haircut, I look like my head is too small for my body! Kind of like Barry Bonds, only in reverse! My ears are about one quarter their natural length, I look like Sally Fields from the Flying Nun! When I jut my teeth out, I look like Nicole Richey, only not as homely! The beautician told mom I got the “puppy cut.” The puppy cut? How about, I’ve been on a three day jag and shouldn’t have a pair of scissors in my hand cut! Or, I ate a brownie from the little hippie girl, now I’m floating in the air with these scissors, sorry about your hair, cut! A puppy cut? I have lost all street cred! I could just see the Pit Bull coming over here and getting a glimpse of me! I’d say, come on in, I just need to change clothes, he’d take off running, thinking he was going to be on “To Catch a Predator!” Dad can’t stop laughing at me when he looks at me, the hippie says I’m ugly! Mom says I had to be cut this way to get the mats out of my beard and ears. Those weren’t mats, they were dreads, ala Bob Marley. So now, I’m a short eared, small headed, new hipped Grammy, Nicole Richey looking, steroid enraged mess! How was your week?