Thanksgiving has come and gone, Black Friday is just a memory! Here I sit with yet more disappointment! On Thanksgiving, Bad Grams came over for dinner. Now I know her and I have not always seen eye to eye, but what the heck, it was a holiday, why not extend an olive branch! When Bad Grams took a seat on the couch, I promptly jumped up in her lap for a little together time. The first words out of Bad Grams mouth were “get down Princess, I don’t like you!” I thought, if you don’t like me, wait until you get a look at old Crunch Face. As soon as Bad Grams saw the little accordion face, she started fawning all over her, saying; “ I just love her and Remi Bear” (AKA Furball)! Okay, I saw how this was going right away! Was she still mad about me turning her into Crime Stoppers? I was positive they would find a meth lab at her house! How did I know they would go through her unmentionables? Excuse me, just thinking of those unmentionables gave me a shiver! So Turkey day was over and mom was planning a big shopping trip with her favorite girl! I had my list and itinerary all mapped out! I figured we’d start at Petco for a free breakfast, afterward, we could stand in line over at the PetsMart to get my favorite bunnies some high quality food. This is kind of a self serving gift! You know the old adage, garbage in, garbage out! I thought I would go with delicious in, delicious out! After a long day of shopping, mom and I would go to Four Muddy Paws, my favorite boutique, for a mani/pedi! Mom said we were leaving really early in the morning, so we should all go to bed early! I was thinking, in your face, Moon Beam, tomorrow, you will not be sliding into the car in front of me! Just in case, while everyone else was asleep, I did a little psychological warfare with sledgehammer face. I convinced her she should leave a little “surprise” inside her crate, I figured this would distract the little flower picker, while mom and I slipped away. My plan backfired, I forgot the hippie doesn’t do dog poop. Apparently, hippies don’t mind rolling around in the mud, they just have an aversion to dog poop! I felt kind of bad for mom, having to clean the crate out before leaving for the trip, but hey, clean some crap, then out the door we go! The next thing you know, mom and Woodstock Wilma, were walking out the door without me! I thought, oh, that’s okay, you kids go ahead without me, I’ll just stay here at Dr. Doolittle’s place with a neurotic sack of fur and a psychotic serial tail biter! Revenge will be mine! I will not forget Bad Grams, or, the little hippie girl messing up my holiday!

I had a better day today, I went to the beauty shop for a little me time. I was trimmed and pampered, I must say, I am rather stunning! When I came home, dad picked me up and took a big ole wiff of me! He commented how nice it was to smell me when I didn’t reek of rabbit poop. He calls it rabbit poop, I call it my escape from reality! Speaking of reality, Crunch Face is still causing me all kinds of distress! I wasn’t home ten minutes and the sawed off runt was working my tail like it was cotton candy! I don't for the life of me know what she finds so interesting about my tail! The Furball has developed this habit of barking his fool head off every time Crunch Face gets near him. I think it’s a tactic he learned at a self defense class, either that, or, he’s just trying to distract Pistol Pete from his frank and beans. Oops, sorry Furball, didn’t mean to bring up more bad memories, it’s just frank, no beans! I don’t know what was up with the little hippie girl today, when she first came home from school, she commented on how cute I looked and was actually loving on me. Afterward, she commented about how cute her friend Sydney’s dog, Tucker was. Dad said Tucker wasn’t as cute as his little Princey girl! You go dad, put the little Woodstock freak in her place! Moonbeam then commented she’d trade Princess for Tucker. Really, oh, okay, I’ll just get my lambie and few of my favorite things and you can work out the details! I wonder how the hippie would like it if dad traded her? Of course, those hippies go for the whole trade and barter system since half of them don’t have jobs! Gotta run!

Well, dad was out of town “deer hunting” for the last week, which hasn’t allowed me to blog. Dad took the laptop with him, why, what were you thinking? Anyway, my life is still miserable! This new puppy is so hyped up! I’m thinking she got into some meth residue left behind by Bad Grams! This little menace is infatuated with my tail and the Furball’s wango tango! Every time I turn around, the little wrinkle faced speed freak has my tail in her mouth! My tail looks like Courtney Love’s hair after an all night bender! The Furball is having a hard time learning to walk with his legs crossed. I feel so embarrassed for the galoot, he’s getting pushed around by a dog who is five times smaller. Me, on the other hand, I’m looking for a good hit man! Maybe the Pit bull could come over and do my light work for me. Although, I’m starting to think the Pit Bull is moving on with his life. He’s not been returning my calls lately, I think I may have to send him some more risqué pictures to peek his interest. Thanksgiving is coming up this Thursday, supposedly, Bad Grams is invited. Little did I know she was royalty, but I distinctly heard mom tell dad she was bringing her own special throne! Who knew? If life doesn’t start getting better around here, I’m blowing this three dog town! I don’t know how much more I can take? To make matters worse, I haven’t been able to find the little hippies stash, you know, just to take the edge off a little. Well I better go, I see part of what was my tail drifting across the floor.

All I can say is, what in the world has happened to my life! This past Saturday, dad and the boy they call Wyatt, left the house, when they returned, they brought home the most obnoxious creature I have ever met, no, not the little hippie girl! This little creature looks like someone hit her in the face with a sledgehammer! To make matters worse, she has a fetish for my tail, I’m now having to walk and sit with my tail between my legs. If not, she’s biting on my tail and pulling me like I’m some sort of a pull toy! At first, I thought she was just going to visit, then leave, however, the longer she’s here, the more I think I may be stuck with her! Dad just laughs every time she pulls my tail, he thinks it’s the funniest thing he's ever seen. Yeah dad, let me bite you in the butt and lets see how your sense of humor is afterwards. One benefit, the little tail biter seems to have a thing for snipping at the furball’s manhood! I haven’t seen bucking like that since bad Grams ate spoiled sushi! So what was it dad? Pooping on the dining room floor? My body odor? Waking you up early on Saturday mornings? My bunny poop addiction? I know I can be difficult at times, but you had to bring a newer model in to replace your little princey girl? I’m thinking if calling Immigration, I heard dad tell mom, the gremlin didn’t come with papers. Great, not only am I being replaced, I’m being replaced by an illegal alien! How am I supposed to compete with an illegal? The little hippie girl is so happy about the serial tail biting pipsqueak, the first words out of her mouth when she saw her was “does this mean we can have Princess killed?” Princess killed? What is she, British royalty? Mom’s all goo goo eyed over the new arrival as well! I mean really, if I didn’t poop on the floor, smell like dead snails, have a tendency to wake mom and dad up on weekends, and eat rabbit poop like it was kettle corn, I’d be the perfect pet! I wonder if I could get a discount for multiple beatings from the Pit Bull? Stay tuned, I will not go down without a fight!