I can’t believe what I’ve been reduced to! I know, I know, it’s been forever since I last blogged. To be truthful, I can’t believe I even mustered up enough fortitude to blog today, I guess it could be a little therapeutic. My life really took a turn for the worse when the little menace started getting bigger. She’s not Heavy Oprah big, kind of like skinny Oprah, you know, after her and Stedman would have a falling out! As the menace got bigger, she started to shed her hair faster than the Kardashians shed their clothes at a party with a hot tub full of NFL stars! I could tell this was really bothering dad, but I didn’t know he would take it to such an extreme! One day he comes home with a metal gate. I thought, finally you’re going to lock the Furball and the menace up like they belong. But no, he gates off the living room! Did I mention the living room just so happened to be where all of my couches and recliners are located? Did I mention the living room just so happened to be where my bed is located? Did I mention I’m now reduced to sleeping on the bathroom floor in a bed with the menace? Yeah, I’ve just thrown all of my dignity right out the door with the dirty diapers(another story for another blog) Just the other night, mom and dad had a birthday party for the little hippie girl. No biggie, right? No biggie until some of the guests started coming into my (big paw air quotes) “bedroom” and evacuating their bowels! The only thing which could have made it worse is if mom and dad gave me a few bottles of cologne / perfume to sell! Mom says it looks like I’ve lost the will to live. Will to live? Oh no, I’m in paradise! I mean, take a look around, there’s more gates here than at a Microsoft convention, every time I try to relieve myself, I have a stub nosed menace putting her nose up my money maker, and to top all of that, did I mention, I’m sleeping on a bathroom floor? Now I know how David Haselhoff must have felt! If things don’t start to turn around fast, I may have to take hostages! Anyway, how was your summer?