Saturday, December 25, 2010
On the first day of Christmas, my master brought to me, a pug to torment me!
On the second day of Christmas, my master brought to me, two tail tugs!
On the third day of Christmas, my master brought to me, three rabbit pens!
On the fourth day of Christmas, my master brought to me, four bunny turds!
On the fifth day of Christmas, my master brought to me, five PIT BULL BEATINGS!
On the sixth day of Christmas, my master brought to me, six vets a spaying!
On the seventh day of Christmas, my master brought to me, seven nail trimmings!
On the eighth day of Christmas, my master brought to me, eight crates with poopings!
On the ninth day of Christmas, my master brought to me, nine yippy lap dancers!
On the tenth day of Christmas, my master brought to me, ten Furballs weeping!
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my master brought to me, eleven hippies piping!
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my master brought to me, twelve Grammies grumbling!
That’s twelve Grammies grumbling, eleven hippies piping, ten furballs weeping, nine yippy lap dancers, eight crates with poopings, seven nail trimmings, six vets a spaying, five PIT BULL BEATINGS, four bunny turds, three rabbit pens, two tail tugs, and a Pug to torment me!
Merry Christmas everybody!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Monday, September 6, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
What a relaxing day I should of had! The girl they call Summer, (still makes me laugh, everything’s groovy man!) is on a float trip, and the boy they call Wyatt, was off with dad for take your brat to work day, or something like that. So this should of left just me and mom, kicking back and taking it easy for the day. Of course she was still a little upset with me after I defamed the dining room last night. I was really hoping mom and I could of had some real quality girl time today, you know, maybe get a pedicure, talk about our lives, laugh, cry, laugh again. You know, girls just being girls. There was only one problem, and it happened to be wearing a black fur coat! Old cry and whine was right there, up in our grill every time we turned around! You would think he would have felt a little awkward, being the third wheel and all! I wonder if the pit bull is over the skunk incident yet? I think it’s time I give the old boy a call and take care of this ignoramus once and for all! Gotta run!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
I have never been so blind sided before in my life! This morning I had my bags packed and was ready to walk out the door, when out of no where, the girl they call Summer jumps in the car and steals my place at camp! RAT FARTS!!! Before the girl pulled a fast one, I had already given the furball a good tongue wagging and was just waiting for the valet (dad) to carry my bags to the car. I guess dad felt so sorry for the girl, he didn’t have the heart to tell her she couldn’t go. Afterward, to add to my humiliation, the dim witted furball was grinning and sticking his tongue out at me! I understand not wanting to hurt the girl’s feelings, but come on, the church kids were expecting me! Not only will the kids miss me, I kind of made arrangements to meet the pit bull for a little skinny dipping after lights out! Lights out is just a suggestion anyway! This is just terrible, what was once going to be an exciting weekend has now turned into a weekend stuck in the house with Forrest Hump! Curses! Gotta run, I have to get furball’s bowl back in front of the curio cabinet.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Saturday, I don’t know what was going on. The boy they call Wyatt was singing “I’ll Be There,” over and over and over! I don’t know where “there” is, but I was wishing he’d just go and stop singing. Later, mom and dad mention going to the homecoming for a talent contest. As flattered as I was, It had been a while since I’d done any dancing or singing, but I thought, hey, why not? I mean, I certainly have room on the old trophy shelf for a trophy, or, two! Well the time comes to leave, guess who got left behind, if you guessed Princess, you’d be right! Just me and the furball on a Saturday night! Furball started with the do you think they’re coming home routine? I responded with do you think I can work up a bowel movement before they get home? Later, mom, dad, and the boy come home. The boy had a ribbon, apparently from the talent contest. Now, unless they’re giving ribbons for Grammy’s these days, I’d say they were a little over excited! Of course the furball was jumping up and down like he’d just one first place in the biggest idiot contest. Poor furball, he’s so simple, not sophisticated like me.
Sunday, dad says he’s going to get the pool ready for a party. As long as little kids aren’t invited, I’m down with a party. Dad vacuumed the pool while mom cleaned up inside. I did my part by not being able to decide whether I wanted to be inside with mom, or outside with dad. Later, the guests started to arrive. Curses! You couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting a kid! Dad said the kids were just curious. Yeah he’s right, they just wondered what would happen to a dog’s eye if they stuck their grubby little finger in it! My whole body was itching before the kids started probing my eyeballs, in fact, my eyes were the only thing not itching before the party! Oh well, having your eyes probed does take your mind off itching! There’s always next weekend. Now, where's that Visine?